10 Pivotal Rules of Senior Dating

If you’re single and over 40, you probably have your own love story to tell. You’ve had relationships before, and you want to meet someone right now, but for some reason, you haven’t found the person that suits you yet. Maybe you’re divorced or just disappointed because of a failed romance and therefore don’t want to risk starting dating again. Maybe you lost a loved one and aren’t sure that you will ever find the same person as your ex-partner or spouse.

No matter why you’re alone, finding love again (or even for the first time) after 40 is not so easy. Nevertheless, people fall in love every day, and many really find a loving person. So what's the problem? Perhaps you just haven’t been on a date for too long and are afraid to start over. In this article, we'll figure out if dating in your 40s is different of dating in 20s or 30s and give you ten rules you may need to follow if you want to find your love.

Is it different to go out on a date after 40?

Usually, by the age of forty, most people had already achieved a lot as individuals, having children and such. These circumstances leave marks on their lives. Finding that special someone after 40 is much more complicated than doing it in one’s 20s. At this age, you may face some difficulties caused by the life baggage of a potential partner, but you can also benefit from it. You know, good wine gets even better over time.

Don’t expect a lot of romance when dating in the 40s. At this age, few tend to give flowers on a date or enjoy strolls under the moon. But, on the other hand, adults have more opportunities than, for example, students. Men and women have enough money to afford a date in an expensive restaurant instead of a simple walk in a park. But even in this case, much depends on a person.

Be ready to meet a married person. Another feature of senior dating is marriage. Someone has experience of married life, and someone may be still married by the time you meet. Unfortunately, not all people going on dates are single. Some hide it, others say it openly, but the fact remains, and women dating in their 40s should bear it in mind. Don’t expect serious relationships from a date with a married person; those, who have affairs, rarely leave their families.

Another distinguishing feature of dating after 40 is short courtships. For example, a single man after 40 is unlikely to date a woman for a few months in a row if he doesn’t get what he expected. The same goes for women.

In any case, dates always introduce something new into a person's life. They give an opportunity to meet new people, add experience, and often lead to long-lasting relationships, filled with love, respect, and care. So you shouldn’t quit dating.

10 rules of dating after 40

Here’s a list of rules that can help those who have been away from the dating arena for some time get back to dating, minimizing possible discomfort.

1) Don’t open your heart at once

Sharing everything may seem natural to you, because you may have had a trusting relationship with the previous partner. After a breakup, the pain is so strong that we are ready to deceive ourselves, only to create the illusion of intimacy. But there’s no need to start telling about your personal drama right from the start.

2) Give some freedom

Everyone reaches the age of 40 with a certain baggage, like children, friends, or elderly relatives. Perhaps a person just can’t be with you like your previous partner did. It’s important to understand that this doesn’t distract this person from her/his feelings for you; it’s just that there are other important people in her/his life. Treat this with understanding.

3) Don’t try to seem like a good friend if you have stronger feelings

Not every partner will be able to read your secret feelings. With all the respect for your intentions, your partner will leave you in friendzone, and it will be impossible to build relationships from there. Start flirting! After all, it’s one of the best parts of dating.

4) Don’t go on a first date with preconceived ideas

Even if you don’t want to continue the relationship, think of it as of a new experience. If your new partner behaved like a nice and amiable person with you personally but acted like a real jerk with other people around you, stay away from her/him.

5) Try online dating

There are a lot of great senior dating sites on the web. It’s a perfect way to start dating safely, leaving all the doubts and fears behind. Besides, if you’re a busy person, such dating sites for seniors will help save a lot of time.

6) Avoid dating too young people

This concerns both men and women. Dating 20-year-olds is nothing but physical attraction. The age gap is just too big; you probably share no common interests at all, which makes creating serious relationships impossible. Choose someone of your age.

7) Don’t forget about romance

Choosing partners when guided by only physical attraction can make dating complicated over time. Everything fades, including beauty. When two senior singles meet, there must be a romantic bond between them that will keep them together. That’s why it’s so important to look for that special someone based not only on physical attractiveness but also on something that goes deeper into your emotions, making you stay by this person’s side.

8) Don’t rush things

When browsing dating services for seniors in search for a potential partner, it’s better not to rush things and take your time. Again, you shouldn’t be guided only by the wish to put an end to your life as a single. Why wasting time on someone if you have doubts about them? Building solid relationships takes time.

9) Know what you want

Be sure that you know whom to look for. Don’t get distracted by some weird desires and wishes you may have had when you were 20. And don’t even bother looking for someone who shares all your interests, you probably won’t find that kind of person. Let your goals be realistic. If you’re looking for strong and long-lasting relationships, it’s better to focus only on the essential traits your potential partner should possess. This way you won’t end up single at 50.

10) Be suspicious

If you decided to stick to online dating for seniors, be sure to learn as much as possible about your potential date before you meet in person. Usually, people chat for some time online, have a few phone calls, and only then goes the first date. When the time comes, it’s better to meet in a crowded place. It’s the first date that should ignite a spark between the two of you. If there’s no spark, you can forget about a second date.

Sum up

Each date is an opportunity to get to know a person better. This is always a two-way process. Dates can be exciting at any age. Perhaps, before you meet your life partner, you’ll find a couple of good friends. Failed dates should always be turned into a life experience.

You will probably see how modern dating changed. Back in the old days, people had romantic dinners and went to movie theaters. Now a date is a short meeting when two companions try to get to know each other better after online dating, drinking coffee.

It’s important to reconcile with the fact that you will repeatedly fail during your search for a romantic relationship. Yes, it’s possible that someone will dump you without even trying to find out who you really are. But you can still learn from each fiasco, which will eventually lead you to the desired goal.