How to Save Your Relationship from a Break-Up

Some people say that trust is like a broken mug – once you break it, you cannot fully restore it. Does it happen the same way with relationships? We see older couples every day, observe celebrities life that looks immaculate to us. But do you think people never go through crises?

Relationships are constant work. The more we deal with our partners, the more conflicts will resurface. People ask, “How can I save my relationship? Why is it so hard to be happy all the time?” Married life and dating are indeed hard. But when is it not worth breaking a sweat? When enough is enough? And most importantly, how to save a relationship that's falling apart?

Key Indicators That It’s Time to Save the Relationship

Before knowing how to save a failing relationship, let’s see if this connection is worth saving. It might be tough to hear, but in some cases, there is no need to cling onto difficult relationships. What if you feel resentment in a relationship? Is it not too late to save everything? You need some serious work if:

1. You do not feel interested in each other

Whether you had an incident that broke your trust or you are just together for too long, interest can drift away. Things like work, everyday stress, expansion of your family – everything can stress you out and make two partners feel distant. Once you see that your partner prefers to spend the weekend with their friends or away from you (or you are the one who wants to distance), that is a clear indicator something is not going well in the relationship.

2. You feel resentment and anger

Couples often go off on each other for no apparent reason. That is what friends or family members see. However, even a mild level of aggression does not necessarily mean one of you is going through bad times. Resentment and anger are indicative of long-fueled conflicts that didn’t find their resolution. If the smallest thing agitates you, it is a clear sign that your passive aggression has come into an active phase.

3. You irritate each other

Couples that live together always have family bickering, and it is completely normal. But if you are fuming from your partner’s heavy breathing, bad posture, or uncleanliness (which never bothered you before), it is a sign that a honeymoon phase has ended for you, and it is time to face reality. You see some things you did not want to notice, but it is a minor problem, indeed. Don't be in a hurry to log into a website to meet women. Give this relationship one more chance.

4. You get toxic with each other

Saying things like, “We all know cooking is not your forte” or “You look kind of chubby” can be a style of your connection or friendly banter. But is it? Toxicity is a sly animal. Once you start funnily criticizing each other, it is a matter of time before one of you gets seriously offended. Being sarcastic with your partner all the time means that you have to say something about their lifestyle, and it mildly annoys you. Watch out before these jokes turn into real accusations.

5. You or your partner cheated or betrayed

Betrayal and cheating are undeniable deal-breakers for most people. Not everyone knows how to save a relationship after cheating and whether it is worth it. But if this tough situation happened, you only have two options, either leave or start regaining trust.

6. You or your partner are constantly lying

Lying is a consequence of serious distrust or, vice versa, an attempt to hide your true intentions. And none of it is natural or beneficial for a good relationship. When you find yourself constantly justifying your actions or find clues about your partner’s ridiculous telltales, something is not going right. How to save a relationship after lying? Is it possible? You can find ways to save a relationship, but you should first admit that lying is a serious problem and stop pretending it is okay to sugarcoat.

7. You want to move out

If you and your partner decide to live separately, it can be a major step back in your relationship. Can moving out save a relationship? In many ways, it can. But only if you understand that you living separately is not caused by some deeper issues, like everyday toxicity or emotional abuse. For couples who are just tired of each other, separate living can be healing and beneficial.

Is It Necessary to Save the Relationship After Cheating?

Don't save the relationship after cheating. To understand how to save a relationship without trust, you need to firstly establish whether your trust can be regained.

Every situation is highly individual and sometimes, cheating does not mean loss of love for your partner. But it only the choice of a betrayed partner whether they will be ready to psychologically recover from it. Some couples are okay with occasional cheating, but if you or your partner take it too seriously, pretending to be okay or forcing yourself to forgive will cause only more psychological damage.

Marriage counselors and family therapists recommend talking this problem out with each other, expressing all the regrets and fears, and consulting with a professional together if you want to save this connection.

Best Ways and Advice to Save Relationships in Crisis

1. Be open about your fears

Anger and resentment, jealousy, and toxicity stem from the fear of abandonment. Once you start realizing that your controlling behavior is a display of childhood fears, it all gets easier and clearer. Try to communicate the real issue in your relationship. Does your partner abuse you because they do not want to let you go? What is the real problem of your constant fights?

2. Stay friendly and loving

Whatever the problem is, don’t try to combat anger with more anger and provoke jealousy by being promiscuous. In other words, do not be counterproductive. If you have some serious claims against your partner or feeling of pettiness, being salty and sarcastic will not resolve a single problem. Instead, try to be as friendly as possible. Show your beloved one they matter, they are appreciated and accepted by you.

3. Be unconditionally open about everything

Whether you choose not to communicate your anger or lost your trust because your partner lies, be clear and loud about whatever concerns you. Do not sugarcoat anything. Practice transparency in everything! Remember to stay friendly and calm during those conversations.

4. No more lies

Have a seat with your partner and spill the truth about every sneaky secret you held from one another. You can be sure that everyone holds their grudges and skeletons in the closet. It may be extremely painful to realize that your partner has way more secrets than you can expect, but this step is unavoidable. Agree to share everything without fear of prosecution from now on. Become each other’s best friends.

5. Maintain communication and interaction

How to save a long-distance relationship? Despite all the miles that distance your partner from you, stay best friends and lovers. Make no excuses about why you cannot talk to each other today. Find time for your partner at least in the evening, texting them before going to sleep, talking via the webcam, or watching a movie together. Make sure you never cease to communicate, maintaining a spark as partners.

6. Break up or take a break

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Can breaking up save a relationship? If your constant conflicts are caused by spending too much time together, maybe it is time to take a little break away from each other. Decide to pause your communication for a month or a couple of weeks. See other people (not necessarily in a romantic way), spend more time with friends and family. Meditate, do the soul searching. Compare how you feel being alone versus with your partner. Decide whether you want to come back or live your lives separately from now on.

7. Talk about your expectations

When your expectations are constantly failed to be met, maybe it is time to communicate them? Have an honest talk with your partner and list all your desired qualities. Don’t cut them slack. Be as honest as you want. Let’s say you want to have children. If your partner refuses to accept your cornerstone values, stop deceiving yourselves, and pretend like things are going to change. It might be hard to face the truth and realize your partner will never fulfill your essential needs, but you need to go through it.

8. Compromise

If you fail to find common ground in the smallest things like picking a color of bedsheets, you might be partners who happen to have their strong views on things. That’s great, but power struggles are not. It does not mean that one of you must be submissive or obedient. Just learn how to prioritize your wants and needs. Try to differentiate core values from tamper tantrums. Understand that support and healthy communication can withstand your differences.

9. Find hobbies and jobs

How to save a relationship in crisis? If your relationship is crumbling, distract yourself from it by reinventing yourself. And in many ways, it helps. When we decide not to center our lives around the idea of a failing relationship, we forget about co-dependency. When both partners are independent and free as separate human beings, the idea of separation is not as scary. Miraculously, the realization of your oneness is divination for a successful tandem.

10. Seek professional help

If your issues are too difficult to be resolved at home and you tried too many ways to save your relationship, maybe it is time for family counseling. Describe your problem to a professional therapist and hopefully, a professional will help you restore faith. Remember that you should come as a couple because going to therapy separately will not be as effective.

Relationships are constant work but oftentimes, things we think of as unresolvable can take a relationship on a deeper level of mutual understanding. Hopefully, these tips have provided you with a clue on how to save a relationship.