Online Dating Mistakes That Prevent You From Succeeding


What Makes Online Dating Different and How To Succeed in It

The 21st century has turned out to be one of the most time-consuming ages in our history. We have busy-scheduled works and busy-scheduled studying, and literally we have no time for dating. Well, we can carve out some time to have a date or two a month, but is it enough to for developing a relationship with someone? We mean dating someone you meet with on dates? Unlikely.

Some are lucky to find a partner in college and stick with them. More rarely, but still, some manage to find a partner at work. But that is the very small number of people. Thus we turn to online dating.

online dating fails

Differences between Offline and Online Dating

Online dating differs from offline dating, and while certain people have negative attitude towards it, it remains the only solution to loneliness in the modern world. But let’s return to the negative attitude. What are the origins of it?

A lot of people claim that online dating is unnatural, or even anti-natural, because they think that there is no emotional chemistry between people who chat with each other. But wait a second. Does the book give you emotions? Isn't author communicating with you via book? Well, quite the same happens when you are chatting with someone online.

Before dismissing the online dating, you need to consider its positive sides. Unlike offline dating, you are not distracted by the appearance of your partner, thus you have the possibility to get to know each other mentally. When you know that you have the same tastes and interests, your chances for building a successful relationship go up. And guess we all can agree that it is better to go on the first date with a person with whom you know you have a lot in common.

Offline dating? You pick someone based solely on the appearance and get distracted learning about your date-mate's interests and views, which are a far cry from yours.

However, the main reason why people are reluctant or outspokenly negative towards it lies in their belief that there is no such thing as successful online dating. But learning a few tricks may help you gain online dating success.

How to Be Successful at Online Dating

girl-dating-onlineProfile Picture

A lot depends on your profile picture. A good profile picture is the first step to understanding how to write a successful online dating profile. Yep, you must be good-looking, as, let's be honest, a woman won't even open a message from an ugly guy. But don't make too much pictures of just you, as she may assume that you are narcissistic, and that's what women hate about men. The best profile picture is you doing something. You have some interesting hobby? Climbing would be great, but any other hobby will do too. So, concentrate on the photo that displays you engaged in your hobby.

Writing Your Profile

Writing your info in your profile requires two things – sincerity and vulnerability. Forget the CV style of writing, don't try to present yourself in the better and bigger way. The best way to write it is to acquire a loose conversational style. Imagine that you are telling that indefinite girl about yourself. Think about the things you want her to know about you. And don't be afraid to be honest about yourself. Don't try to impress anyone and just tell the truth suppressing the fear of being rejected. That's the best way to attract women, as they will rather stick with someone honest and vulnerable than with someone who tries to impress anyone with the qualities he doesn't have.

Writing the First Message

So, you've picked the girl who you'd like to start dating online with and you need to make the first and very important step – to write her the first message. To do that properly, you should check her profile. Even research it thoroughly. She doesn’t want this out of the blue “hello, I like you”. You need to learn her interest and views, find those you have in common, and build your message around it. That will give you way more chances to start a dialog than any ridiculous compliment.

Don't Stick Solely with the Internet

Sooner or later your online relationships must transfer to the offline world. And there are two ways to succeed in it. The first one is a slower one. You slowly build trust and little by little you make her wonder what your first offline would be. Then, in the right moment, you just ask her out.. out of the Internet. The second way is faster, but it is more risky. The second variant can be applied only in the case when your chatting goes really well and your mutual interest grows rapidly. In this case, you can ask her out after chatting for a week or so. In any case, these are mere suggestions. First of all, you need to listen to your own intuition and it will lead you in the right direction. Still, if your intuition falls upon your own deaf ears, you should stick to our advice.

Online Dating Mistakes You Should Better Avoid

Well, now that you've learned the do's of online dating, it's time to learn the don'ts. There are online dating mistakes that can ruin all your chances to succeed. If you mindlessly follow online dating rules, you may face a lot of online dating fails. So, let's check out why online dating fails.

Wrong Pictures

Once again we are starting from pictures. Aside from your profile picture, you may be telling the wrong story with other photos in your account. Pictures of just you standing somewhere is not the best choice, it is basically against the rules of online dating. Your pictures are a visual way to tell something about yourself and you better not neglect it. Don't just post some pictures for your profile to have something besides your main picture.

Pictures require a serious approach. The best way is to make a chronological gallery of your pictures. This will create a slide-show of your life or of some recent period in your life. Writing about yourself is important, but if your bio is a book, then you pictures are the cover. Now, would you buy a book with a bad cover? Unlikely, so think about it. Upload the pictures of your pets, your vacation pictures, pictures that displays your hobbies, and pictures with friends and relatives.

online dating mistakesWrong Profile Writing

We are done with the cover, now let's get to the book itself. You've already learned that you should ditch the CV style and adopt a loose conversational one, but there are a lot of mistakes to make with it too. First of all, you may suffer from poor writing. Secondly, your being honest may turn into pouring down a lot of clichés spiced up with that great feeling of desperation. Well, it may be honest and sincere, but it doesn't look that attracting. You want to find a loving person or the one who would pity you? There is an art of profile writing.

You need to develop your own style of writing to stand out. No matter what you write, it must have a personality. And it must have positive sounding. When you write something like “A lonely guy from Idaho who suffers from loneliness is ready to find the right one”, you're definitely missing the top of the list of most attractive men online, no matter how handsome you are.

First of all, you are treating yourself as 'that guy', then you emphasize that you are suffering. Pardon, but she isn't ready to become a nurse for a lonely guy with no identity. Write more about yourself and even if you like to mention that you are suffering from loneliness, take a more humorous, if not satirical approach.

Wrong First Letter

It seemed quite simple at first, right? Concentrate on something you have in common... Well, yes, but there are few ways how to do it wrong. “Oh, you know Blair Witch 2 is my favorite movie too”. Wow, it seems like you've found each other, you are the only two people in the world who like that direct-to-garbage-can-sequel, what can possibly go wrong?

Well, it is a message that clearly means that you have no idea how to continue that conversation, and you send it in a desperate hope that she will reply something that will lead to your dialog's development. Nice try, but it is too risky. What will you do if she doesn’t answer you? Start sending her first confused and then angry messages like “Why aren’t you answering me?”? Guess you need to think and come up with more interesting variants.

Better start with something humorous, as a good sense of humor is something that will always be in vogue. Humor isa universal language and it will definitely make her notice you.

Conclusion

As you see, there is no point to have a negative attitude to online dating. Online dating can really work for you. Nobody said that it will be much easier than offline dating, but it definitely gives you more possibilities to find your perfect match. Let's be honest, you can always return to trying to carve out more time for offline dating, but it has certain rules too. Finding someone online is less painstaking work.

So, follow the rules given in this article, use your head and intuition, and you will definitely succeed in dating someone online and in transferring your online relationship to the offline world.