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Top Things to Discuss Before Getting Married


Before marriage, during the so-called “period of conquest,” young people are always in a good mood, they look good, smile, and are very friendly. When they have already registered their marriage, they see each other day after day as they are in real life.

Loving people begin to see each other in different states: in joy, in anger, beautiful-looking and not much. If a woman always looked beautiful before, then after marriage, she begins to preen feathers and the like in the presence of her husband. That is, those things that were previously hidden, have become visible. Both of them feel annoyance and disappointment in a certain sense. Why has a fairy tale turned into such an awful daily grind? Nonetheless, this is normal!

before you get married

Now you need to completely understand and accept the person with their advantages and shortcomings. At the moment when a person begins to show not only merits but also faults, new roles for husband and wife appear. And this state is completely new to a person who has just entered into a marriage union. Of course, before you get married, before the wedding, you imagined how to act like a husband or wife, what a father or mother you would be. But everything was at the level of imagination and ideas. Being married, a person behaves as they used to.

Men and women feel differently at the very beginning of their family life. Many women have a desire to preserve the style of premarital relations so that a man always says compliments, gives flowers, presents. Then she believes that he truly loves her. And if he does not give gifts, does not say compliments, there is a suspicion that he is probably out of love. A young wife begins to peer at him asking questions. And the man does not understand why the woman is so restless, and what has really happened.

How Long Should You Date Before Getting Married?

It's no secret that the institution of marriage changes more and more every year. Among the current trends, it is possible to mention the late age of marriage, large expenses for the wedding, and even the fact that now young people are dating much longer before deciding to marry. How do you think, how long do people date before getting married?

Based on the results of a study in which 4.000 people took part, the average duration of a relationship is almost 5 years. This is the same period after which you can register your union. In order to have something to compare with, here are some data that were guided 10 years ago: 17 months before coming together and 22 months to get engaged.

Today, couples who marry an average of 8 years older than those who married in the 80s. 46 years ago, for example, the bride was 22 years old, and the bridegroom was 26. Now the brides are about 30 years old, and the bridegrooms 32. Every year the number of marriage ceremonies increases by 2.7%. The bridal couple says that they are advised by others to enter into a marriage officially because it only strengthens the relationship. However, 90% are sure that they do not experience pressure on the part from their elders about marriage, unlike their parents, who had to listen to their moms and dads.

There were times when parents agreed on the wedding. Newlyweds didn't even know each other and even didn't meet before marriage. And then there was a tendency first to date sometime before the wedding, so that the future newlyweds could get to know each other better, see if they have common views and concepts. Nowadays, people practice cohabitation before the wedding. things to discuss before getting marriedAnd this is right because you first need to meet, build relationships, and get to know each other from all sides. There is no regulation, no law, no postulate about how much you need to meet before the wedding.

Things to Know before Getting Married

The things like, "What to do before getting married?" are the most important issues, which you should know if you are ready to enter into marriage. It does not matter how much time remains before your wedding. You will definitely not have enough of it, and you can forget something.

Rules for the Bride

1. Dress code

Feel free to warn guests about the dress code. It can be very important for a bride to be the only person who wears a white dress. There are many cases when the groom's mother puts on a long white lace dress, drawing attention to herself.

2. Meeting with guests

All preparations must be completed one hour before the event. Clearly arrange the time to meet guests. No event has ever started on time, and guests never arrive at the appointed time, and some are even late. It is advisable not to delay for a whole hour, as the organizers usually do. The fact is that ladies in beautiful evening dresses and in magnificent styling and stiletto shoes cannot stand for a long time.

3. Photo zone

Creative photo zones are special entertainment for guests, around which there is always a queue. Photos can be obtained immediately after the event. You can attach photos to beautiful frames. This will be a great memento.

4. Candy bar

Guests are used to starting a meal with meat dishes but not with sweets. Almost at all weddings, the sweet table remains intact until the end of the event. This is a good option as a photo-zone, and guests will appreciate it. But, if you want to cut down expenses, then the rejection of the sweet table will be optimal.

5. Music

Take responsibility for the choice of music. Sometimes in the wedding rush, many postpone this for the last moment. Meanwhile, music characterizes you no less than your dress or the decor of the hall.

6. Newlyweds dance

Many brides rehearse so selflessly that they completely forget about what kind of dress they will wear. Open legs are obligatory for tango or mobile dances. It often turns out that the bride realizes at the very wedding that she simply cannot move in a tight dress.

Things to Do before Getting Married for Grooms

Why is it so great to be a groom?

When you are anticipating a happy event and at the same time falling in love with your bride, the hormones of happiness are released. It has been scientifically proven that the skin is smoothed, the eyes shine, the energy level rises, and a person succeeds.

1. Visit the dentist

First of all, you need to take care of your health. A healthy husband is a happy husband. Visit the dentist, worry about making your smile on the wedding video and the photos look amazing. And do it a month before the wedding in order to have time to insert a filling and carry out procedures for teeth whitening. This will save you from the so-called a "nervous" toothache, which can happen right at the wedding because of the strong emotion.

2. Examine your heart

As you know, a heart is the main organ, which will carry a double load during the whole time of the celebrations. After all, you will have to follow the order and pay attention to the guests, and, most importantly, to the bride. You have to dance a lot, to kiss a lot, to smile a lot. Therefore, you must be sure that you are OK.

3. Try on a wedding suit in advance

Do not put away this sacred duty for the very last day. Despite the long-standing tradition that the groom should not see the bride's attire before the wedding, be sure to agree in the bridal salon so that you can try on your outfits together. The bride and groom are a couple. You should look the same way to be accepted as a loving couple.

4. Learn photos of close friends and relatives of the bride

It is unlikely that you will know well all the people who will attend your own wedding. But if you ask in advance how the invited women friends and relatives of the bride look, you can avoid many incidents at the wedding. In addition, just one good phrase can leave a great impression on your bride's relatives.

Things to Talk About before Getting Married

1. Family budget

First of all, it is necessary to decide which of the spouses will be responsible for the financial support of the family. Marrying will be very prudent if they distribute areas of financial responsibility in advance. First, the question of whether the family budget will be shared or divided should be solved.

things to do before getting married2. Career

Many modern people both men and women are interested in building a career. The future husband and wife should find out how important it is for them to take place in the profession.

3. Health

It is not necessary to acquaint the partner with clinical record. Mental disorders and genetic disorders are exceptions that can be inherited. In other cases, it is better to limit yourself to telling about your chronic diseases as well as about those features that affect the conceiving and the gestation course, for example.

4. Children

To decide on the number of children in advance does not make sense. In the absence of experience, including parenting, people tend to both overestimate and underestimate their capabilities. But the desired timing of pregnancy would be good to discuss ahead of time. Partners also need to agree on who assumes responsibility for protection against mistimed pregnancy.

5. Responsibilities

This point needs a detailed discussion: the more details will be specified, the better it will be further. Just agree on who will go to the grocery store, cook dinner, do the cleaning, do laundry and ironing, etc. And now you see what things to consider before getting married. Nothing special but very important.

Questions to Ask before Getting Married

Things to discuss before getting married are usually accompanied by some questions. Do not be afraid to ask each other and be sincere. After all, if you are now afraid to show your true face and go to all lengths to appear better than you really are, then how are you going to live together all your life?

  • What sort of relationship do you have with your partner's parents?
  • If they have brothers and sisters, how do they communicate now?
  • Is your future spouse a thrifty or a spender?
  • If you have children, how will you share your concerns about them?
  • Do they think it is right to give unsolicited advice if they are self-righteous?
  • Do they consider themselves to be people avoiding conflict, or, on the contrary, not very equable?
  • What is the best way to help partners if they have stress or are upset?
  • How do they imagine the proper distribution of responsibilities at home?
  • How would they describe the relationship of their parents? What do they like about this relationship and vice versa?
  • What do they think about the friendship between a man and a woman?
  • Do they have a life purpose? And if they have, then what is it about?
  • What exactly do they like about you that they are ready to live life together?
  • Is there anything in you that is alarming and may be a problem in the future?
  • Are there topics for discussion that are definitely taboo? If it is so, which ones?
  • If they were already married or in a serious relationship, do they communicate now with the ex? And how?
  • Is religion important?
  • If you have children, will you give them religious education?
  • Which model of family budget management seems optimal? Who is responsible for personal finances including liabilities, loans, debts, savings?
  • If sooner or later your parents will need constant care, how will you solve this issue?
  • How is important sex in marriage life?
  • Are you ready to seek professional help if there is a crisis in your relationship that you cannot overcome on your own?
  • What is your attitude towards pornography?
  • What ways of expressing love do you like most?
  • Is there something in the view of the world that will definitely and irrevocably blow the relationship up? What exactly?
  • How do you imagine your life and your family in the future?

Legal Things to Know before Getting Married:

  • Due to the legal system, there are several legal things you should know before getting married.
  • To receive a license for marriage it is obligatory to file the application;
  • The decision on the last name change is up to you;
  • Legal arrangement before marriage should be considered;
  • Legal solemnization of marriage is obvious;
  • Only persons of legal age have the right to marry. Minors can marry only with parental consent to marriage;
  • The documents should be prepared. After you make an appointment with the registrar, you need to put your documents in order.
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