Many couples think that a wedding is a peak in a relationship that you want to strive for, or the finish line, followed by a reward - unlimited happiness. A successful marriage really brings joy and harmony, but many couples still have doubts about the correctness of a fateful choice. There are no universal reasons why you can suddenly decide to get married, each case is individual. But some of the facts described below can make you change your mind or settle for a final decision.
We advise you to take a deep breath, relax and read our tips. We've tried to understand what makes you doubt your decision.
Specialists remind us that a person is a social being, and therefore, we are very worried about what others think. Before making an important decision, we try to protect ourselves and often turn to the advice of others. Thus, some of us become dependent on the opinions of others and lose our ability to make decisions independently. The problem arises when the need for social recognition outweighs self-confidence and weakens self-esteem. And confidence in their own choice, in turn, is of great importance in the life of every person and affects the feeling of security.
At the decisive moment, the accumulated doubts become more severe. Marriage is not just a desire to online meet girls, this is the decision you make for the rest of your life. We all seek reasons to get married that work 100% and experience the same fears - the fear of not being recognized and alarming attempts to find our place in the world. Moreover, when you find yourself in the spotlight, everyone will try to evaluate your decisions, which may provoke doubts about yourself and the correctness of your choice. Often people do not want to analyze the negative situations that they face, but such an analysis only contributes to the formation of adequate self-esteem and self-confidence.
If you have already made a choice, then you will only listen to the opinion of your environment to get support in your decision. But if you do not have sufficient internal strength to not pay attention to the negative, then you can always seek help from specialists who will help you work on your self-esteem. By concentrating on your own strengths and improving your objective flaws, you will eventually be able to truly accept yourself and realize whether should get married at this stage of your life. Because being unsure and striving for someone to give you moral, law or biblical reasons to get married is normal. We all want a stable confirmation when being unable to make a decision. But this is your choice and your responsibility, to fear is normal, but do not pass on your obligations to others.
You used to spend hours surfing through the Internet, looking at the single women pictures, and now you are no longer interested in short-term connections or relationships without obligations. It seems that you realize why people choose to tie the knot, and you project different opinions on your partner. But what are good reasons to get married to her? Let's consider signs that she is the one.
You have common goals and interests. After the honeymoon period in the relationship, the couple moves to a new stage, people begin to see each other much more often, live together and build plans for the future. At this time, the foundation of the future family is laid. Or, no matter how sad it sounds, the couple breaks up without surviving everyday problems. What can be a sign that it is time to talk about the official registration of relations?
You grow as individuals together. Your support and motivate each other to become better. Discovering the best in each other is one of the main goals of a relationship. You must help each other make dreams come true. You must believe in your partner more than anyone. Because when you are in love, you both make the same effort for each other's happiness. No one denies that marriage is wonderful. However, sometimes a cold breeze can blow between you. You need to be sure that your partner is also working hard for your common future. Your discussions must be honest, and your compromises should be fair. When you are sure that your partner is able to change for the sake of you and your future, as well as you, want to help her become a better version of herself, this is one of the healthy relationships reasons to get married.
Physical and emotional support. Flirtation, joint entertainment and a number of nights spent together are not a base for marriage. You must have a deep relationship in which you work together to solve problems and plan for the future. Do you know how to negotiate and calmly discuss difficulties? In addition to sexual intercourse, you must have an emotional connection. Having fun and having sex is not the key to a successful marriage. It is a joint-life experience, both negative or positive that prepares you for the marriage. Life moments such as the death of a loved one, illness, stress at work can both break relationships and make them stronger. You should be there for each other in the moment of hardships to emotionally support and be someone’s shoulder to cry on. And the basic routine things like who will do the household chores when the other is ill or suddenly cancel plans because the partner needs help should not be even a question. So, being 100% sure in your partner is one of the main good reasons to get married.
Your quarrels are always effective. An idyll in relationships does not always accompany family life. Therefore, it is important to discuss subtle issues, speak without aggression about your feelings, and do not be scared to show them. The main mistakes in the relationship are the inability to resolve conflicts together, to compromise and listen to the suggestion of one another. Many couples break up, guided by their emotions and momentary desires. Therefore, before you get married, make sure that you are able to resolve problems and conflict situations. Do not strive to prove that you are right at all costs. The ability to make concessions is one of the most important in living together. Sometimes, the situation is not that difficult or important, but you can dispute over it for a long time just because you do not listen to each other. Therefore, try to step into the shoes of your partner, take their look at the situation, maybe they had zero intentions to offend you or did not plan to say what has been said.
Your partner is your best friend. You should have open communication. It is always important. You need to talk, looking into each other's eyes and hear the other one opening your heart. Because we speak not only with words but also with body language, tone of voice, glances, energy. When you act natural and do not pretend with your partner, it means the connection between you is healthy. Such a relationship gives you the opportunity and the space to be yourself. You can relax and not worry about anything. You deeply trust each other and feel safe. You do not take yourself too seriously. A good sense of humor is a great helper in a relationship too. It helps laugh more than quarrel. When you do not take yourself too seriously, you are able to see that your different opinions are not the end of the world. With a calm and clear mind, it is easier to resolve disagreements.
When you are not sure about the future of your couple, it is also worth listening to what the girl says. If she had her first thoughts about the wedding or she accidentally said a word about it, then your beloved is ready for family life. A young man who is confident in his soul mate will not wait long and will make an offer. In addition to this, we have prepared the top 5 reasons to get married in terms of legacy, life experience, and social issues.
1. Financial incentives
A lot has been said about the obvious advantages of marriage and the right reasons to get married. But we will look at it from the other side - commercial. And this is not only the overall budget. If you are officially a family, then tax benefits are provided for you. Also, couples can buy, for example, subscriptions to a fitness club or museum. You will be generally more financially secure. Sociologists at the Pew Research Center in Washington say: people who are married are financially better off than those who are single. The Center’s chief researcher Richard Fry believes that family men work better than bachelors, try to achieve more and receive higher salaries. The same goes for working women. As a result, couples gain an economic advantage over single people.
2. Like-minded soulmate
Marriage is not just a precious ring on your finger and a stamp in your passport, it is much more. When entering into a legal relationship, you can always be sure that your spouse will support your choice and any undertaking. Sometimes we all lack simple support and a few encouraging words. But in marriage, you will not only have a constant helper near you, but you will develop empathy and patience too. German psychologists have been following the changes in the character of almost 15 thousand people for 4 years. It turned out that family life developed patience in people, the ability to take care of others and reduced the level of neuroticism. For several years, Dutch psychologists from Tilburg University watched almost two hundred married couples and found out that the most important skills in marriage are self-control and the ability to forgive. If you notice those features in your soulmate, then those are top reasons to get married.
3. Big family
From time immemorial, it is a normal practice in most countries of the world that when two people get married, they practically enter each other’s families. You become part of her family, and she is now a part of yours. Traditions are traditions, but this is how your family really grows, and family ties become stronger. You will be psychologically healthier having such huge mental support! According to some reports, marriage can improve the psychological and emotional state. Partners in married couples are less likely to be depressed or show the risk of anxiety. Perhaps this is due to the fact that married men under the supervision of wives are more often examined by doctors and promptly seek treatment. Another possible reason is that people who are married have lower cortisol levels compared to bachelors. High levels of the stress hormone in the blood increase the risk of early death by 10-15%.
4. Joint planning for the future
Planning for life alone is one thing while doing it together is quite another. Now you can both choose where to go on your next vacation, where to move and at what age to have children and not fear whether your partner’s plans even include you. If you wonder what are the reasons to get married? Those are at least the facts that an official marriage is nevertheless characterized by some stability and a mutual desire of partners to take care and overcome difficulties together. Men, as a rule, associate marriage with a lack of freedom, with the appearance of certain obligations in their lives. Such a man is ready to marry when he is absolutely confident in his chosen one. That means knowing that your love and emotional investments will not be in vain. A man wants to know for sure that a woman will not leave him, along with all his investments. And as we have already mentioned, according to recent studies, married men have much better health than single men.
5. The ability to call each other husband and wife
What are the right reasons to get married? Because a stamp in the passport seems a sheer formality. But the new status you acquire after it is worth it! She becomes a wife, and you become a husband. At first, it will be funny to call each other that way, and then you will not be able to imagine your life without this. And such simple everyday details make us happier. Professor Julia Specht from the German University of Münster, together with her colleagues, found out that marriage is particularly beneficial for people with a certain type of character. Life satisfaction after marriage is most often observed in female introverts and male extroverts. A family lifestyle meets the needs of these particular types of personalities.
6. Visa application
Few people know, but there is another plus in a marriage. As a rule, people who are married get visas easier (and they are issued faster). Think about it if you travel a lot. According to statistics, marrying a US citizen or permanent resident is one of the most common ways to immigrate and become an American. So, if you ask, “What are legal reasons to get married?” we will answer that more than a million green cards were issued in 2017, and almost half of them - to spouses of US citizens or permanent residents (they are also "holders of green cards"). Together with foreign brides, grooms, wives, and husbands more than 75.000 children received American documents. The number of visas and green cards for spouses of citizens is not limited, as in the case for other categories of relatives and other methods of immigration. The process of applying for a green card is slightly different depending on where the marriage is made: in the United States or abroad. This affects the timing since the consular process, as the lawyer's practice shows, is a couple of months longer. And the same benefits of moving can be found in other countries.
7. Social security
The wedding ring on the finger has magical properties since it repels all unwanted looks. Of course, not all people wear engagement rings. But this is not just an accessory but in some way a bodyguard. Legal certainty is important, and it makes one of the top reasons why people decide to get married. During a divorce, joint property is divided equally, children have a father, and a single parent will receive money in the form of alimony. This and many other social benefits make people register their marriage and switch from the simple cohabitation to being married. This is the first serious step towards building a family, and people who make it are now protected by the government as the new cell of society.
The desire to build a deep, sincere and open relationship with another person (some psychologists call this an “existential meeting”) is natural for people. In today's economic realities, this need is perhaps the only and last one that a man cannot realize outside of marriage or its equivalent, and it rarely comes to the fore before the fortieth anniversary.
A truly respectful and careful treatment of a partner becomes possible only when you need to use it neither materially nor emotionally. You both enter into a relationship without any need, you have everything, and you are happy to share this with each other. You do not need confirmations of eternal love, you do not encroach on the freedom of another, if necessary, you are ready to let the other one go, but now you feel good and warm together. It is on this basis that happy marriage of two mature people is possible, and it is precise as a result of such a meeting that the strongest and happiest couples are formed