9 Tips to Rebuild Trust after You Have Cheated


According to many different statistics cheating is reported to cause breakups in around 50% of all relationships. Keeping that in mind, one naturally wonders, why do people cheat? Is there some tendency, habit, or consistent algorithm half of all couples experience? However, it is clearly evident that cheating in a relationship is caused by the lack of trust, dishonesty, ineffective communication, stress, and sexual dissatisfaction. Nevertheless, a single episode of cheating can be dealt with if only a guilty party admits guilt. It requires both partners to reconsider their relationships from ground zero, learn how to respect each other, and provide care. Read the following tips to know how to build trust after cheating.

trust after cheating

Why We Cheat In a Relationship

There are many different reasons for partners to be dishonest with each other. Some of the most common reasons are unhappiness, sexual dissatisfaction, lack of interest, communication problems, and other issues. However, most often cheating in a relationship is caused by a bunch of factors and not just one.

Sexual Dissatisfaction

Partners who do not please each other sexually are more likely to experience cheating. Lack of sexual interest is a serious problem. Most couples come to it with time. Nevertheless, one may not be able to deal with it properly. In many cases cheating is caused by sexual dissatisfaction alone.

Flirting

Perhaps, you’re wondering, is flirting considered cheating in a relationship? The truth is that flirting alone is not cheating. However, it does not mean that it’s not offensive. Perhaps, all cheating episodes start from flirting. This leads to the following logical conclusions. Therefore, flirting is not cheating but it has no place in happy relationships, unless, of course, you flirt with your partner.

why do people cheatUnhappiness

Most of the partners who cheat report that either both partners or one of them are unhappy. It can also be deducted from the nature of cheating alone. Unhappiness, basically, means that partners do not get what they what and/or need from each other and their relationship. Thus critical lack of unity pushes partners towards cheating to find the alternatives on the side while still not giving up on the present relationship. However, doing so, a cheating partner undermines the relationship.

Communication Issues

Lack of understanding can lead to cheating. Partner who do not communicate effectively are more likely to experience cheating. With both partners being unable to express themselves clearly they cannot reach understanding and be at peace. Therefore, they look for comfort and fulfillment of the agreement on the side. Emotional support and understanding are critically important when it comes to relationships. Happy couples are open to each other and communicate with pleasure to continue getting to know each other better.

Why Men Cheat?

Some pessimistic psychologist may say that sexual polygamy is men’s nature. However, these views are inapplicable in our modern day and age. Men, as well as women or all people, cheat for the same reasons. However, there are historical causes that men are more likely to cheat than women. That is because, historically, civilization of the whole world was ruled and dominated primarily by men in what can be called a patriarchic age.

Nowadays, though, it no longer exists in the magnitude of its former proportions. But in the past men were responsible for the organization of the world, progress, and business affairs having little or no time at all for their families. At least, this was a perfect ideal of a man-warrior in times when most of the men were soldiers. Back then, men rarely restricted themselves from pleasure on the side or thought it was unethical to cheat on women who were in submission. This may be one of the historical reasons why do men cheat.

Why Married Men Cheat?

Married men cheat mostly because they are under the pressure of responsibility that comes with family. Children are especially important factor here. Some men find that they are unable to provide or care for the infants or cannot stand their wives’ constant attention and interest in a child.

Why Women Cheat?

Women cheat because they are very thorough in their search of a future possible husband. Most women have reported that they cheated trying to find a more suitable partner. However, what caused the dissatisfaction and inability to suit each other despite making the choice after all in the past stays a matter of debates. Nevertheless, women try to discern a potential husband in every man they date or meet. Unlike men, women have higher demands to relationships which can cause men’s occasional inability to meet these demands. That, in its turn, causes women to cheat with other men.

How to Build Trust After Cheating

Even though cheating causes 50% of all breakups, you might want to know how to rebuild trust after cheating. One episode of cheating may not ruin your relationship. Still, there’s a lot both partner should do to repair the relationship hurt by cheating. Read the following 9 tips about rebuilding trust after cheating.

building trust after cheatingAcknowledgement of Guilt

Healing after cheating can only start with the partner who cheated admitting guilt and providing apologies. Further efforts are meaningless if the partner doesn’t admit guilt because it means that cheating is likely to happen again seeing as how there’s not any guilt. Therefore, a partner who cheated should apologize and promise not to do it again. This is critically important for further progress.

Counseling

Some couples may find it useful to seek counseling in the form of a couple’s therapist or a lifestyle coach. Any thorough kind of the involvement by a third part might prove to be useful and effective. Another person can suggest areas for improvement and provide a different perspective on your problems guiding you to look where you two haven’t looked before. There’s no shame in seeing a psychiatrist. One should not necessarily be a cuckoo to seek this kind of help. Just a couple of visits can significantly affect your view on the problem.

Change of Routine

It is highly advised to change your routine and do something out of ordinary. Consider taking a vacation and traveling or start working on some new project. Perhaps, you can pick a hobby for you two together to do something. The important thing is that you should do something fresh and original to clear up your routine from its casual issues and daily irritators. In other words, try seeing it as starting all over from a blank slate. You relationships experienced trauma but you are going to be better. Take your time to heal and make your life interesting again.

Trust

Trust is the most important element in relationships. Cheating can easily be considered as an attempt to undermine and ruin trust. Cheating itself is a lie. Therefore, cheating indicates problems with trust in relationships. Start with making a decision not to lie to each other. There is no place for lies of any kind in happy relationships. Avoid secrets and tell each other everything. Be completely transparent if you want to know how to regain trust after cheating. Be honest and demand honesty from your partner.

Care and Support

Building trust after cheating allows partners to support each other. Partners in successful relationships provide care and comfort for each other. It means being reliable and ready to support your partner with any affairs.

Understanding

To heal from cheating, partners in relationships should have understanding. Both partner need to know for sure why they are together and how to treat one another. Understanding means allowing your partner to be heard and also expressing yourself clearly when you share with your partner. Remember that your relationship is something that belongs to both of you and not to only one of you.

Mutual Activities

It is important for you two to spend more time together. You should talk, go to places, attend some events, do something, and enjoy yourselves. Essentially, it all comes to the time you spend together. how to build trust after cheatingThat’s when you evaluate the relationship for yourself and for your partner. Be extra active in your desire to spend more time with your partner. Require the same treatment for yourself. True love is when people wish they never part. However, for better or for worse, this is impossible. So, value your time together.

Sex

You should pay attention to your sex life. As it was mentioned earlier, sexual dissatisfaction can be the reason of cheating. Therefore, reevaluate your sex life. Try to introduce some changes. Perhaps, spice it up a little. Do the things you two haven’t done before in order to please each other. Keep in mind that partners involved in a serious long-term relationship tend to get used to each other which makes it harder for them to appreciate each other sexually.

You might want to try various positions you haven’t tried before in bed. Moreover, you can have sex at different time or in a different place. Sexologists also advise to use toys, creatively approach foreplay, work out, and be open-minded. Spicing up you sex life can increase the level of your attraction to each other. It is much easier to maintain trust and keep peace when both partners are sexually satisfied. Moreover, isn’t that what you really want yourself?

Future

Both partners need to include each other in the plans for their future. In many ways, partners in serious long-term relationships have a common future they share with each other. It means that you and your partner need to know for sure that tomorrow and the next week or month you are going to be there for each other. The more faith you have in tomorrow the better. Your future is something that excited you and your partner. You should want to be there no matter what to spend the rest of your time being near the person you care about most. So, keep in mind your future and plan something you both dream about.

All in all, now you know why people cheat and what it takes to rebuild trust after cheating. People cheat because they do not feel satisfied sexually and emotionally. When a partner does not feel pleased in a relationship, cheating with another person occurs. People cheat when a certain lack of understanding, care, support, and pleasure is evident. Women cheat because they look for a perfect husband. Men cheat because, historically, they ruled the world and were in position to decide how to approach women.

Fortunately, not every relationship should be terminated because of cheating. Cheating indicates lack of trust. To rebuild trust after cheating partners need to spend time together, communicate effectively, please each other in bed, and provide care. Only then relationships will be healed when both partner find it delightful to be with each other and desire to spend their lives together.