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Dealing with a Rejection from a Girl: Top Things You Need to Consider


Rejection is the most common form of emotional shocks that we experience in everyday life. Until recently, the risk of rejection was rather insignificant since it was limited to the direct circle of communication of a person. Today, thanks to online communication possibilities, social networks, and various dating applications, everyone is connected with thousands of people, and anyone from them can ignore our posts, chats, notes or profiles on dating services, which makes us feel rejected.

Apart from this type of romantic rejection, we are also subject to serious and more devastating situations. The pain of understanding the person you love doesn’t feel the same towards you is horrible. People break up through the electronic conversation, they let each other down and do not even call back. Our modern world has become much more violent and that is why it is vital to learn how to deal with rejection from a crush.

how to deal with rejection from a girl

The Psychology of Rejection

It doesn’t matter whether you want to know how to deal with rejection in love or another kind of emotional shock, serious or minor failure, one thing remains the same - it is always a very painful experience, and, as a rule, more unpleasant than we expect. We start questioning ourselves, "Why?" "Why do we worry so much that a close friend did not “like” photos from a family holiday that we had posted on Facebook?" "Why is the mood completely spoiled because of this?" "Why we get angry or upset because of something that seemed so insignificant?" Even our self-esteem suffers at the periods of dealing with rejection.

The thing is that we cause the main damage ourselves. When our self-esteem is heavily affected, we go and tear it down even more. It's simple - our brain is programmed to respond this way. Examining the brain of people who had experience in overcoming rejection, using the functional magnetic resonance therapy, the scientists came to surprising conclusions. When we experience failure, the same areas of the brain that are responsible for the sensation of physical pain are activated. That is why even a minor rejection is perceived so painfully. It literally hurts on the emotional level.

But Why Is Our Brain Programmed This Way?

Psychologists studying human evolution believe that this mechanism goes back to the era of the tribes of hunter-gatherers. Since then a man could not survive alone, and being rejected by society was actually a death sentence, and if you got rejected by your partner, that meant you wouldn’t be able to have children. As a result, we developed an early warning mechanism for the danger of “being banished from a tribe.” Fear of rejection contributed to survival. Those who perceived refusal more painfully and often changed their course of behavior remained in the tribe and were able to continue their race.

Of course, emotional pain is only one of the consequences of getting over rejection for our well-being. In addition, failures and rejections also spoil the mood and reduce self-esteem, cause anger and undermine our need to “be part of something.” Unfortunately, when we start thinking about how to deal with rejection, we often choose the wrong tactic. Being rejected by our partner, instead of trying to get over it and start going own way, we listen to our natural reaction. And it tells us to become extremely self-critical and find out the reasons for why we got denied. In other words, when we hurt our self-esteem very strongly, we only make matters worse. This pattern of behavior harms our emotional health and is psychologically self-destructive. We all know this, but some of us still continue to act this way.

Luckily enough, there are better and smarter ways how to get over rejection, algorithms that should be followed to avoid unhealthy responses to such situations, techniques that help alleviate emotional pain and restore self-esteem. We are going to talk about them in the next paragraphs.

How to Deal with Rejection from a Guy?

The rejection, as we perceive it, means that right now our expectations haven't been met, and something is wrong with us or the person, who has rejected us. Of course, we can react to the same situation in different ways. Some give up and close inside themselves, not knowing how to deal with rejection from a man or a beloved woman. Others try again with renewed vigor and finally reach their goals. So, what steps should be made to get into the category of the second?

how to deal with rejection in love1. Quantity goes into quality

According to some researches, each smoker makes more than three attempts to quit smoking. Every attempt, even a failed one, is a new experience. Each time we learn a little more about ourselves, our capabilities and limitations. Likewise with being rejected: whatever your goal is, to achieve sustainable results, you have to go through a line of failures. When your lover insists on your breakup, let them free, you will no longer get anything from this relationship, but you will be stronger and more prepared for your future love affairs.

2. When one door closes, another opens up

To get a new job, we will have to listen to the phrase, “You don’t quite fit us” several times. In the process of finding a partner, you may get an offer to stay friends, a short “no” or even a puzzled look. Do not focus on feelings, think about the fact that every refusal brings you closer to your cherished goal. You and your beloved one are not the only people left on planet Earth. You have chances that there is a guy who has been in love with you for many years and now when you are free, he will do his best to make you believe in love again.

3. Rejections and obstacles make us prettier in the eyes of others

Oddly enough, the cases of failure can add us a few points. Your love story becomes only more elegant if it contains the parts when you struggled to win your partner’s heart and tried again and again. Or if you were in a long-term relationship and didn’t quite get over it when you met your next partner, who managed to heal your broken soul. There are not so many stories of happy family people who have met at school, have never broken up or taken a pause in their relationships and are still together. Chances are, even if you get rejected, that is not the end of the story. But if you are emotionally prepared and strong enough to go on, you will get rewarded by life one day.

4. Your failures are what makes you alive

Constant success causes mistrust, but failures create a sense of drama and cause sympathy. Treat them with humor, make fascinating stories about them, and doing that you make them work for you. Getting rejected is not the end of the world – it can happen to anyone. Just treat it as permanent troubles you will get over and forget soon.

5. Getting rejected means you have tried

When the guy you have been in love with lets you know he is not interested in you or not alone, you have nothing to be upset about! At least you have tried, and it is worth a lot. Imagine what would happen if people didn’t reach out to each other, no one would simply know who is in love with whom. So, you have to try to know for sure. All in all, the guy you fancy is not obliged to fall in love with you, he is a human being that has his own feelings, and you should respect his choice. And trust us, he will respect and appreciate that you have managed to tell him about your emotions.

6. Expecting the answer is harder than the rejection itself

Most often, it is uncertainty that causes anxiety and feelings of powerlessness. We count hours and minutes while waiting for a response of a loved one. Anxiety is growing, making us imagine the worst scenarios. In such a situation, any answer becomes a relief: at least, the weary silence is interrupted, and you can move on.

Remember that failures are part of real life. It only means that one door is closed. Instead of crying at the threshold, you can go in search of another one and open it.

How to Deal with Rejection from a Girl?

Methods of how to deal with rejection from a girl are not much different from those we have described earlier concerning guys. However, it is more common for a man to deal with rejection. Historically, men should approach girls, and the females decide whether they are interested in these relationships. So, it is not surprising that many men want to know how to deal with rejection from a woman.

1. Understand one simple thing: you are not the only person on planet Earth who has heard the words that made you feel this way

But it is precisely this sensation that arises among particularly sensitive people who have been rejected. There are hundreds of thousands and even millions of people in the world who repeatedly fall into similar situations. And not all of them cry for days and consider world peace is riding on their unhappy love story. There are those who keep going on with their heads held high and finally meet their happiness.

getting over rejection2. Do not try to engage in self-digging after being rejected

Self-flagellation inexorably leads to a sharp decline in self-esteem and loss of self-confidence. Understand that not always failure demeans you as an individual. It often seems that way because of the ignorance of all the circumstances of the refusal and its true causes. For example, we spent a month talking to a young woman on a social network day after day, and when we finally gave her a hint that it was high time we meet in reality, we were refused. And we start criticizing ourselves, think what we did wrong even if there is nothing to think about. The reason may not lie in us, so take a sober look at reality and go on.

3. If you got refused, do not close yourself in

Share your troubles with a loved one: your mother, sister, the best friend, with someone who can support you in difficult times. By doing this, you will be able to get over what has happened much faster than if you are left alone with the pain.

4. Consider failure not as a tragic event but as a source of new opportunities

If the person you loved said you did not attract them as an individual, read more books, buy a gym membership or take up a new hobby. But remember, you should do it for yourself! If you really feel the need for it, but not because someone has told you. You are the only person you should listen to. When the desire to become a better person arises, take the initiative, and you will surely attract the attention of people who would not even look at you before.

5. Having been rejected, do not rush to cry a river, not going out of your apartment for days

You should better arrange a small holiday with the purpose of cheering yourself. Buy a delicious cake, go to the cinema, make a new haircut or do something you have been dreaming of for long. Treat this as a magic kick of the life that wants you to wake up and take actions. Plus, such pleasant little things will improve your mood and, probably, make you take up a more positive outlook. And if you stay on a positive vibe, you will attract similar people.

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