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How Do You Learn to Love Yourself?


Loving someone is impossible until you love yourself. And to make it happen, you need to learn how to please and feel your own needs.

It is worth mentioning that almost every person knows their real desires and what brings them pleasure, but not always we have a possibility to act the way we want. The thing is that people are too stuck in their routines, and what relaxes us or nourishes our soul is quickly lost in a series of everyday grind actions. That is why it is important to learn ways to love yourself not to lose your personality.

how to love yourself

What Does It Mean to Love Yourself?

A person that loves themselves can be characterized by the next statements:

1. Ability to set personal boundaries and defend oneself. Showing love for self means that one is aware of their own boundaries, which no other people should cross. If you fall in love with yourself first and set these boundaries, then a loving person that comes into your life will confidently and calmly respect them. They will not allow these borders to be grossly violated and will not invade them themselves.

2. Bravely declare their rights. When people love themselves, they declare what they need. They know that they deserve what they ask. It is not difficult for them to ask for help from any person. Since they are not tied to the result, they are not afraid of failure.

3. Taking good care of your body. A person who loves themselves takes care of their body, chooses the best means for this, proper nutrition and the best habits. Seeks medical help on time, if necessary. They do not exhaust themselves with diets or uncontrolled taking of medication. But if you know how to love yourself and be confident, you do not indulge your weaknesses, but choose what your body really needs and what will bring benefit to your soul and mind. As well as you will take care of other people you love instead of gloating.

4. Learning to love yourself means trusting and respecting your opinion. When people love themselves, they trust their own choice. Such a person relies on their soul and heart, not on other people's advice. They accept help only if they had asked for it, and it coincides with their goal. Listen to your needs. Do not put someone else's opinion higher, even if it is a kind of authority, you are worth more.

5. Putting yourself first. To love yourself is to put yourself ahead of others. To take care of yourself first, and already being filled from within, radiate love to others.

6. Not doing anything to the detriment of oneself, not sacrificing oneself for the sake of approval. A person who loves themselves is filled with love from within, and they do not need confirmation from outside. They will not sacrifice themselves, do anything at the expense of themselves for the sake of receiving praise from others.

how to learn to love yourself7. Do not become dependent on someone else's opinion. A truly self-loving person does not need someone’s approval. They accept themselves completely, realizing the most insane ideas without looking back at other people's opinions. Loving yourself means being free from the influence of judgments of society, near and far surroundings. Being in need of a friend's advice, such a person will just go ask for it, but a final decision will be made based on their own internal motives, even if it goes against the opinions of others.

8. Allowing yourself to have fun. Want to know how to learn to love yourself? Let yourself rejoice and enjoy life in various ways. You shouldn't be afraid of any of your actions if you were happy at that moment. If something brings pleasure, even if it looks like idleness or useless action, it is just as important as other activities that bring obvious benefits. Pleasure generates joy, increases vitality, opens a portal to new opportunities and ideas. Without all this, there is neither development, nor evolution, nor sense in life.

9. Maintaining resource. This is a very important sign that a person loves themselves. It means knowing your real possibilities and making sure that your internal resource is not empty. Stop working in time, give yourself time to rest and recover as much as you need. How to fall in love with yourself? Stop to recharge your batteries when it isn't needed, this is your real life. Not a TV show.

10. Choose the best possible option in everything. A person who loves themselves, acquires products, clothing, services that are the best of those that they can afford. If the income is small, such a person will set a certain bar and never fall lower than it because they live for themselves and do not need designer's labels to prove somebody what they are worth.

11. Surrounding yourself with nice people, beautiful things. A person in love with themselves creates a situation in which they are comfortable both physically and psychologically. These people strive to decorate the place where they live, work or spend a large amount of time. Excluding the communication with people who are not interested in you or unpleasant, do not participate in conversations with people who negatively affect your internal state (complaints, gossips, or meaningless chatters), it is a truly useful skill.

Signs You Don’t Love Yourself Enough

How to love yourself when you don t know how? At least you can start from several signs that clearly indicate a lack of self-love and correct these mistakes if you have them in your regular life:

  • People don’t like themselves if they often feel guilty, and regardless of whether there is a reason or not.
  • It means you do not love your own body and personality if your head is full of thoughts focused on your shortcomings, bad luck, and so on. If you notice that strangers pay attention to you or hear someone's laughter nearby, then the first thing you will think about is that something is wrong with you.
  • If you can't love yourself, you do not know how to take compliments and do not believe any kind words towards you.
  • A person that is inclined to complain about life, is unhappy with themselves. It seems that nothing is good but they cannot change anything, it is not in their power and strength.
  • Often remembering and taking yourself back to your failures, unpleasant situations, analyzing them in memory again and again, and telling others about them can serve a sing you have psychological problems and should learn how to learn to love yourself. Stop thinking about how you did not pass the interview for the desired position, about that major quarrel with a relative, or about a painful divorce or past relationship.
  • You urgently need to learn how to love yourself more if when seeing your reflection, everything you notice is your flaws rather than how beautiful you are.

Each of us sometimes happens to deal with at least one of these feelings. You should ring the alarm if such depressive moods become regular. Of course, the fewer such "signals" you experience, the better. But if they are present in large quantities, then it is a reason to think and reconsider your attitude towards yourself. Maybe you have problems with self-love?

We often strive for some improvements only because we are not satisfied with the current state of the affairs, and this is not bad. We strive for something better. But think about the following:

  • When we are dissatisfied with ourselves, it is difficult to be happy and to do something well. We are still unhappy. Even if you do something well, you do not feel rewarded for your efforts. That is why it is important to learn how to love yourself.
  • To avoid feelings of dissatisfaction, we have developed certain habits: procrastination and distraction. They become constant companions of life, and this interferes with our business. In fact, until we cope with the problem of unhappiness with ourselves, we will never solve the problem of constant postponement and distraction to minor things.
  • how to love yourself and be confidentDissatisfaction with oneself interferes with communication with other people (since it seems to us that we are not good enough, we experience anxiety when it comes to meeting new people). We cannot cope with this until we solve the core problem.
  • Even when we achieve something, we are still not satisfied with ourselves. Therefore, we are trying to improve something else, but this does not help as well. There will be no end to this until you face it.

Why It's Essential to Love Yourself to Be Successful in Dating

Love begins with you, and until you understand this, building healthy relationships will be hard if not impossible. Loving someone is a big responsibility. At first, you can feel like the happiest couple on the planet, which enjoys a love period at the start of the relationship. But when you come back to reality and understand that you need to have a life outside of your small world for two, which includes both friends, work, and hobbies - the time comes to get to know yourself and test your feelings.

In any relationship, there comes a time when both partners need a little bit of space. Just to be alone with oneself. There is nothing terrible in this, your relationship does not collapse, everything is still good, you just have to figure out one thing for yourself: to be alone means learning to love yourself. Only when you are able to feel this unconditional emotion towards yourself, you can love someone else. But if we continually deny ourselves, love, we doom our relationship to failure. It is very important not just to love your partner for all that they have done for you, it is important to understand that this love really begins with YOU. After all, how can you give someone a large part of yourself, even if you are not sure that this part is good?

Learning to Love Yourself in 5 Simple Steps

Finally, it is time we talk about how do you learn to love yourself. These easy pieces of advice should help with this:

1. Fill yourself with positive energy. Do not focus on increasing your self-esteem, it is better to concentrate on not comparing yourself with anyone. Remember three main components: 1) self-esteem, 2) feeling like a good person, and 3) awareness and self-identification.

2. Radiate light. If you see something that you like in a person, tell them about it, give a compliment. You cannot imagine how sensitive people are to kind words! Share your energy and enjoy what brings joy to others.

3. Get rid of high expectations for others. Let them live their lives and not interfere with yours. Your task is to move forward, receiving your lessons and drawing conclusions from them.

4. Take time to be alone with yourself. It is important to take the time to think about what is really important to you. To love yourself, you need to rest from external noise and switch your attention to things that are hidden inside.

5. How do you love yourself? Listen to your intuition. To love yourself is to not listen to those negative thoughts that sometimes play in your head, like a broken record. It is rather about listening to the warning signals and getting yourself out of situations that bring discomfort.

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