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How to Understand that She Is Playing Hard to Get


Sometimes you meet a girl whom you can’t simply understand. In one moment, it seems like she likes you, but in the next one, she acts as cold as a winter somewhere in Russia. In this case, professional pickup artists say, “She is playing hard to get.” But what does it mean?

girl playing hard to get 

Playing Hard to Get Meaning

Playing hard to get means that a girl or a boy doesn’t want to seem too thoughtless, so they pretend that they don’t have much time, are not interested in you, or have other people who also chase them. If you struggle to date a girl who plays hard to get, then it is better to tell her that you know about her little game. After that, pay attention to her reaction, but don’t be too pushy because there can be many reasons why a woman may do this.

Why Sometimes Women Play Hard to Get

Women often play hard to get because this is way more beneficial for them. They know that in this case, they will get more than if they were just playing nice with guys. By playing hard to get, women try to show that men will have to struggle to win their hearts. Usually, women act like that because they search only for confident men. As you may know, confident men are very attractive to a woman. Often, those girls like to be chased, and this is why they may play hard to get even with those men, whom they don’t find attractive.

Also, women believe that a girl playing hard to get is way more attractive for a guy, and that he will want her more than any other girls, and that a guy will value her more than any other girls. Of course, partly this is true, but often worthy men don’t wait for long enough or don’t act arrogant enough to finally win this girl over. So, in the end, they begin to search for other opportunities to meet single females.

Frequently, women play hard to get because they had terrible previous experiences with men. Of course, they don’t want to go through this once again. She is playing hard because she is very careful and doesn’t want to get into this situation again. You will have to spend a huge amount of time to show her that you are an absolutely different person, and you won't hurt her. You can find such a person on a man and woman dating site.

Another reason why women often play hard to get is that they are not very self-confident, and they can be afraid to have serious relationships. On the other hand, some women do this because they are too self-confident and want to prove that they are desired. In this case, women often feel very lonely, since they don't allow anyone to get close to them.

Signs She Is Playing Hard to Get

Sometimes for a guy, it is very hard to understand whether a girl plays hard to get or just simply isn't interested in him. The difference between these two attitudes is drastic. When a girl plays hard to get with you, it means that she likes you and wants your attention but also wants to be chased for one reason or another. In this case, if you like this girl, you should definitely chase her. But if she doesn’t like you, there is nothing you can do to change her attitude. In this case, it is better to find someone else. As you can see, it is crucial to understand the difference between these two things. So, how to tell if a girl is playing hard to get? Some certain signs will help you find the answer to the question, "Is she playing hard to get?"

1. She never writes you first, but always writes you back

The reason for this is that she doesn’t want to look like a desperate loser. She doesn’t want to be refused, so she waits till you write her first. Thus, she will know that you are interested in her. So, as soon as you write something to her, although it may take her a while to answer, she will send you a perfectly thought out answer.

she's playing hard to get2. You don’t understand her feelings for you

She is quite careful, therefore, doesn’t speak plainly about her feelings for you. But, having looked more closely at her actions, you can say that she most likely has feelings for you. In short, she is just trying to confuse you because she clearly doesn’t understand what to expect from you and doesn’t know if you have any feelings for her.

3. She tries to make you jealous

She casually mentions her ex-boyfriend from time to time, or maybe even tells you a story about a guy who gazed at her in a cafe when she was having dinner. She only wants you to know that she is a hot little thing, but she is still here with you now, but she can turn her attention to someone else if, for some reason, you don’t increase your romantic pressure a little.

4. She never immediately agrees to go on a date with you

When you ask her to go on a date with you, she never immediately agrees. Of course, she agrees, but only when you ask her for a couple of times. Both of you may even know that she will agree to go on another date with you, but you both play this game because it has become a part of your relationships.

5. She compliments you

The huge difference between a girl who plays hard to get and a girl who doesn’t interested in you is that the first one will compliment you from time to time. Yes, sometimes she looks very cold and may not even respond to your messages, but she actually likes you, and from time to time, she will show you this. The girl who is not interested in you will never compliment you seriously.

What to Do When the Girl Is Playing Hard to Get

What to do when a girl playing hard to get? Ask yourself, “Is she playing hard to get, or just simply doesn’t like me?” After reading our playing hard to get signs, you know for sure that she is just playing and actually likes you. There is no direct recipe that will help you win any girl over, but there are some rules that work well with most women who decide to play hard to get.

Get her for the first date

The best way to show her that you know all her games is to get her for the first date. If a girl really likes you, and you know how to act, she won’t be able to resist you, and you will get her for the first date. Of course, after that, she will have problems with playing hard to get in the future. There are many ways how you can make a girl wish to agree to go with you on a date, but the best way is to be persistent and gentle.

Attract her by being masculine

Some girls like when boys are very gentle and even feminine, but not those who play hard to get. One of the most popular reasons why a woman may play hard is that she wants to be chased by a man. In this case, you are the predator or the hunter, and she is your prey. Remember, only strong predators or hunters get the prey at the end. So, you need to show her that you are strong and masculine, and she will be all yours. But be careful, or you may scary or insult her with your masculine behavior. As you may have heard, some women consider masculine men as a thread and play hard to get because they lack confidence.

Flirt more with her

People flirt only when they want to show their romantic interest. By flirting with her, you can provoke her to flirt back with you. Remember, she just plays cold, but really, she likes you. So it will be very hard for her not to flirt back to you. Sooner or later, her barriers will fall, and the magnificent flirting game will begin. This is not the fastest way to win a girl who plays hard but definitely the funniest and the most interest one.

Be attractive but don't show you are really interested

Another way to win a girl who likes to play hard to get is to pretend that you are not very interested in her. By acting like that you will make her choose whether she wants to take a risk of losing you (if she decides to keep playing hard to get with you), or she wants to stay with you, by openly confessing that she actually likes you too and that she was just playing. In this case, you may even switch roles, so now she will have to write to you first because she may lose you once and for all. But don’t go too far with this method, or you will lose her.

Let your interest rise slowly

Also, you can start playing another game with her. Don’t show her that you are very interested. Instead, you should let your interest rise slowly. This approach will allow you to have a necessary space because she will be in doubt whether you like her as much as she likes you or not. Thus, she will be very careful in playing hard to get, and, of course, this makes winning her much easier for you. The slower your interest rises, the fewer opportunities she will have to play hard to get. But don’t play this game for too long, or she may get bored.

Should I do the same with a girl?

First and foremost, you must know that sometimes a guy playing hard to get looks very silly and stupid. But apart from those cases, it is much easier to win a girl if you play hard to get. Because, as a result, she will believe that you are a very popular person, and you are worth all her efforts. The other reason to use this method is that when you start to pay too much attention to a girl and immediately confess your love to her, she may lose her interest very fast.

is she playing hard to getFor guys, it is very difficult to play hard to get since guys usually are less emotional by nature, and when they try to play hard to get, they may seem to be too cold and distant. You definitely should let her know that you like her, but don’t ease the tension too much, because she must never be sure whether you really desperately want to be with her, or not. Without letting her know that you are interested in her, you may lose her.

Generally, to win a girl, you don’t have to be too accessible, or too hard to get. The best thing is to maintain a balance. At the same time, when you finally find someone to date, you should always be open to her and very hard to get for everyone else.

How to Play Hard to Get with Girls

So, you have finally decided that you want to play hard to get with girls, but what to begin with? How to play this game well? According to all above mentioned, you should be careful with keeping a distance because you may lose a girl once and for all. Here are 5 tips on how to play hard to get with a girl of your dreams and make her want to date you.

1. Win her attention

Before you can start playing hard to get with a girl, you need to win her attention first and be sure that she is interested in you. The best way to do this is to turn your communication into a funny and interesting game. But be very careful when you play with her because, during your games, it is very easy to confess by chance your love or show too much interest. Instead, you should make her doubt your interest in her.

2. Play cold when you text and call her

If you want to play hard to get with a woman, then you should never let her think that you belong to her. Don’t immediately pick up your phone when she calls you, wait for a couple of seconds. Thus, you will let her think that you have other important things to do. You may also sometimes don’t answer her calls at all. Thereby, you will make her think that you are overworked.

3. Let her call you first

This one is very tricky because she may also wait for you to make the first step. If she didn’t call you in a couple of days after you had exchanged phone numbers, then you may need to reconsider your desire to play hard to get. In this case, you may call her first, but she should be the one who will call the next time.

4. Don’t show your feelings too fast

The best way to confess your feelings when you try to play hard to get is to wait for her to confess her feelings. If you are the first to begin this conversation, then she may tell you that you are running too far ahead. At this stage, you should never confess that you just have played hard to get.

5. Avoid physical contact

Touching is the best way to show your feelings. Here we are talking about gently touching her hand, shoulders, or hair. But if you decided to play hard to get with a girl, you definitely should avoid physical contact with her. You should go physical only after a couple of real dates. Let it be your next second step towards the relationship with her.

So, does playing hard to get work? Yes, and at the same time, no. In fact, the final effect of this method depends on a person who tries to play hard to get. The most important moment in this game is to switch from playing hard to get to normal relationships. If you confess to a girl too early, she may leave you. Generally, there is a very thin line between playing hard to get and lying. So, if you want to have a strong and healthy relationship, then it is better to avoid playing hard to get, because, in this case, you are building your relationship on lies from the very beginning.

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