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Sex Addiction and How It May Affect Your Life


So is sex addiction real? Yes, it is. Some scientists call sex addiction one of the main pathological inclinations of the 21st century. Of course, the scale of the problem is not as impressive as alcoholism, drug addiction or game addiction, but nevertheless, it exists. According to some sex addiction facts, every 10th man and 50th woman suffer from this disease. It is very easy to trace the roots of this problem: sex is no longer a taboo in most Western cultures. Speaking of removing taboos for sex, we mean that this topic has become an open and popular topic for discussion regardless of the background and class affiliation of a person.

From the point of view of marketing, sex is an excellent means of stimulating the need to buy and consume. It is enough to launch an advertising campaign in which a new product will be directly or indirectly related to sexuality in order to ensure good sales at the starting stage. Once that happened with cars and cigarettes commercials. Both of these concepts at one time are firmly associated with the concepts of sexuality and masculinity. Then the marketers went even further, subtly hinting in their commercials that the girl holding a cigarette in her mouth is very sexy. Moreover, she is desirable. This is just one example of how society goes from extreme to extreme when it comes to sex.

Although the topic of sexuality, which is imposed on us from all sides, remains controversial, the fact that sex addiction is a pernicious phenomenon is indisputable. And we must talk about it.

addiction to sex

What Is Sex Addiction?

We are talking about compulsive sexual behavior and the uncontrolled desire for intimacy. Sexual addiction arises predominantly in representatives of the stronger sex of young and middle age. Women are less likely to become addicts, but cases of pronounced hypersexuality among them also occur.

Doctors say that a person is sick with sex addiction when sex becomes the dominant part of their life. Dreams, thoughts, conversations, books, movies, relationships – they all are just about sex. As in the case of shopaholism or game addiction, sex addicted people are characterized by manic-obsessive behavior and way of thinking. At the same time, interest in other people, including colleagues and loved ones, manifests itself or does not manifest itself only depending on whether they represent these people as sexual objects or not.

Like any other addictions, sex addiction is accompanied by the release of hormones of joy and happiness, which encourages people to behave more and more intrusively, risky and often - illegally and perversely (It should nevertheless be noted that not all sexually addicted people fall under the category of sexual perverts or maniacs). Impossibility to realize their increasingly burgeoning sexual fantasies often leads to aggression, sharp changes in mood, depression ... in general to the standard abstinence syndrome.

Of course, it does not manifest itself as opioid abstinence, but in some cases, it can also be accompanied by psychosomatic symptoms. The biggest problem is that it is very difficult for a person to recognize their condition as pathological. They are not capable of this either during internal dialogue, much less in dialogue with other people. Sex addicted people rarely consult a specialist. This is due to the existence of double standards in the society. On the one hand, the topic of sex is no longer tabooed. On the other hand, mass culture actively cultivates the view that excessive sexual desire is characteristic of sexual maniacs. Does someone, being in their right mind, want to associate themselves with such personalities?

Many people confuse such concepts as sex and love addiction. These are different concepts that are based on different complexes or gestalt. In the case of addiction to sex, the main trigger for the constant desire of intimacy is the desire to receive sensual pleasure. The physiological component is more important than the emotional one. Some psychiatrists say that this is due to the hypertrophied instinct of procreation. For one reason or another, a man is constantly driven by the desire to copulate in order to ensure his contribution to the world gene pool of mankind.

Love addiction is not a mental disorder, what cannot be said about sex addiction. At the very least, there is no scientific justification for considering love addiction as a serious pathology that arises from any mental disorders. This is more a phenomenon from the field of psychology, often discussed within the framework of art. Love addiction is a desire of a person to constantly be in a state of falling in love. It is noteworthy that a person is obsessed with himself. The object of love only determines its condition. Often a person misinterprets his or her own behavior, artificially creates conflict situations, behaves irrationally and does everything in order to feel himself in love, with all the ensuing consequences.

sex addiction factsSo is sex addiction a disease? Most experts believe that it is. Many people have a misconception about sex addiction. Hearing that part of the term sounds like a tempting "sex", some women and men instantly rank themselves as sex addicted. Ladies and gentlemen believe that this is good. "Sexual" sounds to them as a compliment, meaning that the person wearing this "rank" is clearly a master in the affairs of love. In fact, this is one of the manifestations of addiction, which in its essence is not different from drug addiction or alcoholism.

Probably you want to know what causes sex addiction. Here are the main reasons:

  • Unhappy childhood, lack of parental love and tenderness;
  • Features of the structure of the brain and changes in brain functions that progress with time;
  • Fear of intimacy, fear of excessive attachment to one partner;
  • Disbelief in the longevity of relations;
  • Predilection for erotic and pornographic sites;
  • Creative people often become sex addicted, explaining their indiscriminate sexual activity as a professional necessity, they need a state of strong love that is constantly needed for a creative ascent;
  • People who often travel, go on business trips; the sense of temporary freedom develops the habit of having a new partner each time, sometimes more than one, and the habit quickly develops into a need with which a person is no longer able to fight.

Signs of Sex Addiction in Men

Sex addiction is characterized by the following symptoms:

  • inability to control sexual impulses;
  • harmful consequences of this behavior, although, as a rule, the person denies this;
  • uncontrollability in other areas of life due to sexual addiction;
  • amplification of the pulse frequency over time;
  • feeling bad due to abstinence;
  • the ability to have sex in a dream occurs at the time of a partial awakening from a deep sleep; a person can move, which means, to show sexual activity, while the brain is almost completely disconnected, i.e. only those areas that are responsible for primitive needs (in other words - reflexes) work, and in the morning the person does not remember anything.

All these signs of sex addiction may change from situation to situation, but not to a large extent.

There are four stages of sex addiction: at the first stage, the sex addict is constantly in a certain trance, his thoughts are aimed at sex and require constant appropriate stimulation. This is one of the main sex addiction signs.

Next, a person invents erotic rituals that precede sexual actions and intensify sexual arousal. Then there is a stable mental dependence on these rituals, there is a loss of self-control. The final stage is despair and depression.

But what are the symptoms of sex addiction? The main symptoms of sex addiction are casual sex connections, the use of services of prostitutes and telephone sex services, constant conversations about sex, fantasies about sex, reasoning about how many times he (she) could do it, the constant provocation of other people for sex, etc.

With an acute sexual attraction, the brain produces a protein substance that is accompanied by a sense of pleasure. After some time of communication, the brain stops to produce this protein, and a psyche that is accustomed to constant doping needs a new object for a strong feeling.

Sex addiction causes a constant desire to have sex: whenever, wherever, and with anyone. Satisfied with their needs, addicted people immediately switch to the search for a new object of passion, they frantically change partners. If a person does not quickly find a new sexual partner, a state of apathy and depression comes. Only the next sexual object is capable of bringing a sex addict out of this state for a short time.

Sexual Abstinence

The problem with addicts is that they do not know how to build relationships outside of intimacy. In their minds there is a substitution of concepts: any proximity between people seems to them possible only in the presence of sex. And although the first time sex brings them great satisfaction and pleasure, over time, they require more and more doses of sex.

Even the danger to health and life cannot stop the thirst for sexual pleasure. As a consequence: promiscuous sexual intercourse, violent daytime and nighttime sexual fantasies, depression and total loss of control over one's behavior. The view that sexually addicted people are solid maniacs is mistaken. Quite often they are socially successful people, good family men.

symptoms of sex addictionMost of the sex addicts are men whose sexual addiction often manifests in unusual forms of sex (for example, in paraphilia), promiscuity, compulsive masturbation, homosexuality, the pursuit of violence and incest, and the extraordinarily high need for regular sexual intercourse.

A typical portrait of a sexual addict: a heterosexual man of about forty, married (or having a permanent partner), a professional who otherwise leads a completely normal life.

Overcoming Sex Addiction: Important Rules

So how to overcome sex addiction? Fighting this problem alone is useless since it lies deep in the subconscious. The help of a qualified psychologist is necessary in this case. In addition, to combat sexual or any other addiction, you need to find like-minded people. Together this will be easier. There are many groups on the Internet or in the centers of psychological support, the participants of which have already made two important steps towards their recovery: they recognized the existence of the problem and they understood that they can get rid of. Overcoming sex addiction is not as difficult as it seems at first glance.

Sex addiction help starts with few basic rules. It is important to get rid of sources of erotic content. You have to stop watching TV, temporarily abandon the Internet, as the temptation to visit your favorite site is very big. Newspapers and magazines with photographs and articles on sex are also banned. Modern media are a dangerous trigger of this type of addiction, so an addicted person needs to recognize this fact. At first, it will be quite difficult, however, since the time the reaction to erotic content will be less strong, after which you can start to use the Internet and watch TV.

The addicted person will have to wait with his personal life, as any relationship will be interpreted as a "natural" sexual attraction. No new acquaintances and one-time partners are allowed. They will only interfere with recovery. In the first months, your desire will only become aggravated. But if you break in this period, then further treatment will be useless.

The best thing that helps remove the sexual tension is sports. Go to the gym and visit it at least 3 times a week. Every morning go for a run. Exclude seafood, nuts, celery from the diet. These are natural aphrodisiacs which increase sexual attraction.

In the event that the behavior becomes uncontrolled, the doctor may recommend taking medications such as antidepressants and synthetic hormones. It is necessary to find a good specialist who knows how to stop sex addiction and follow his recommendations.

Getting rid of any addiction requires the presence of willpower, so the main responsibility lies not with the psychologist, but with you. Only your desire will help you overcome the disease and return to normal life.

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