Talk to Your Girlfriend About Sex

How to talk about sex? Sometimes it gets awkward, right? It’s ridiculous how some couples can live years and years together, not knowing sexual preferences of each other. You may have to hold this conversation for various reasons, from your girlfriend abstaining from it because of her moral code, or you just don’t like some things and it’s completely normal to teach or adjust your partner. Sexual life is a whole universe when you are married, right? So it should be talking seriously. However, when couples talk about sex, some things might get a little uncomfortable, embarrassing or insulting. But don’t worry, it’s just sex, and if you live each other, lots of things can be changed for the sake of another person.

Why it's so important to talk about sex in a relationship

How to talk to your girlfriend about sex? How to talk to your boyfriend about sex? It doesn’t matter what gender you are to be asking those questions. It’s a common misconception that a leading partner, whoever they are, are entitled to talk about sex and, what’s more, demand changes, while the other one (usually, a female) is silent about their needs. Why is it so important to talk about sex?

• You stimulate each other’s minds. By opening to your partner, you can come up with different ideas and conclude what’s been the most pleasant experience.
• You become closer. People who aren’t afraid to cover any topics are generally happier, less stressed and confident about their mutual life.
• You can protect yourself from diseases. It’s not shameful to have bacteria and viruses. But some situations are just ridiculous. Especially when you are new to each other, it’s essential to talk about your past experiences. For example, if your partner used to have unprotected sex with his or her ex, it’s important to ask about their HIV-status or STDs they could get while being in previous relationships. Talking about things like that is not shameful; neither is it an indicator of your mistrust. By covering this unpleasant topic you can actually make your lives happier and healthier.
• You can prolong passion in your relationships. By discussing likes and dislikes, there are fewer chances you will get bored in your sex life or be tired of your unskillful partner. Again, it’s not shameful or ride to talk about some corrections.

How to talk about sex with your partner?

How to talk to your girlfriend about sex? How to ask a guy to change something? It’s a delicate topic as you don’t want to lower someone’s self-esteem or expectations about you as a grateful partner. But, nevertheless, if your partner loves you and is fully dedicated to your tandem, they will understand your will to discuss those questions. Besides, it can be fun!

• Stop worrying about your image

We talk about sex kind of awkwardly. In some countries, this topic is still a taboo. Especially women are the ones who tend to think that asking about sex is too much. Men talk about sex on an easier note. However, ironically, they would rather discuss it with their friends, not directly addressing questions to their girlfriends. People have sex and do it terribly: men are afraid to tell their women have no more life in them than a ragdoll; women moan annoyingly and confess in their fifties they don’t understand sex and it’s kind of boring. Why worry about your image if you don’t get the pleasure from the activity you’re supposed to?

Talking about sex, as well as making love is not shameful.

In order to overcome shyness, start from lighter topics, how you liked your last intercourse, what would you change. Don’t be fake or harsh on each other. Don’t be afraid to tell what you want from sex. You also shouldn’t hesitate to talk about your kinks. Talking about your likings during sex is much easier because your brain doesn’t concentrate on the embarrassment. That’s why you should start talking about your preferences. Don’t forget about compliments and a conversation afterwards.

• Don’t go in circles

There is one more common mistake – trying to explain what you want, using very mild and polite language. First of all, you’re not twelve to talk about “this topic” in riddles. Hopefully, none of your parents are watching, so why should you verbally struggle to open to a person while you literally give them your genitalia.

Second of all, you confuse your partner with indirect messages and even passive aggression. Especially if they are insecure, leaving spaces for their imagination is the worst thing you can do to them.

If you want a certain part your partner’s body on/in any of your body parts, just say it as it is, without shy smiles or riddles. It looks ridiculous. Just put their hand in between your thigh or control their thrusts/tempo during sex. It will lead to mutual pleasure. Sex is a game for two. If you are afraid to be confident, at least try to indicate your feelings sincerely.

Create a list of sex topics to talk about Another problem rises if a person doesn’t know what he or she likes at all. It happens a lot in individuals who have poor sex education and didn’t watch porn to indicate their preferences in the first place. Ask yourself following questions:

• Which position is your favorite?
• Do you like oral sex?
• Do you like foreplay?
• How far can you go in sex?
• Do you have any kinks?
• What are your most sacred fantasies?

Our brain will indicate about our hidden desires, fantasies and erotic dreams.

• Watch porn, alone or together

A person can’t know how to handle a partner if he or she doesn’t have any theoretical knowledge about sex. You don’t have any preferences? Good! You can open a random porn site and start searching porn in different categories. Decide which one attracts you the most. Show this to your partner or ask what kinks are they comfortable with. Watch porn together as a foreplay or a documentary, if you both feel okay with it and won’t develop any insecurities or jealousy.

• Just talk with your partner

In fact, it’s the easiest part. In order to know your partner’s preferences, you don’t even need to talk. Just observe them while you are having sex. And it doesn’t mean you have to stare at them. Just do your thing, see their reaction and remember to do it next time as well. Start from the foreplay, notice which part they like the most. Listen to their noises, breath, body movements and other physical responses. After sex, ask your partner what they liked the most. Talk about it as a game. Ask about oral sex, anal sex, petting. Fantasize. Maybe you want to play with some toys or try a roleplay. Maybe you want to change the location.

Sex questions you need to discuss

• Here are some sex questions to ask your girlfriend or boyfriend:
• How many partners did you have?
• This might be uncomfortable and your partner might get away with a lie, but it’s an essential question you need to ask before even having sex to avoid psychological trauma, shock or STDs.
• What was your first sexual experience like? Was it awkward or confident?
• These types of questions really bring couples closer to each other.
• How old were you when you lost your virginity?

This will tell a lot about the amount of experience your partner has. If he or she is still owners of the V-card, ask about how they would like to lose their virginity. Be specific. Ask about the place, the music, the clothes, everything that comes to your mind.

• Do you like kinky sex?

You can be shocked by the skeletons they have in their closet. People are silent for a reason. If your partner has some unusual sexual desires, it’s about time you free those demons before you accidentally step into the scene when they’re masturbating while watching a threesome with two men and an octopus, and you have been in a devoted marriage for ten years. Yes, everybody is messed up in their own ways.

• Do you like oral sex?

This is among first questions to ask about sex. Oral is an essential part of any foreplay, or can be considered sex on its own. Do you like to go down on your partner? If not, what scares you? Is it smell, taste, overall experience? If you are a receiver, why don’t you like it? Are you embarrassed to taste or smell wrong? Understand that if two people really love each other, they can’t taste or smell bad, and sizes or shapes don’t matter either.

• Would you be down for anal sex?

Most women are afraid of anal because it’s thought to be painful, dirty and unsanitary, risky and dangerous. Before you jump into conclusions, do your research. If you both decided to try, have a calendar where you dedicate some time to adjust to new feelings. Be open to talk about it and try it.

• Are you on contraception?

This is by far THE MOST essential question. It is the only one that matters. Unprotected sex is the worst thing you can do to each other. It’s surprising how many couple are afraid to ask this question and deal with the consequences, like unwanted pregnancy or STDs. It’s better to track down this issue together. Oral or anal, vaginal or other kinds of sex, always have something to prevent bad things happening and be vocal about your trepidations. Amen.

These are some basic interesting sex questions, but you can try some other stuff like a sex game questions for couples. It looks like a card game with saucy and hot questions that will make your sex life brand-new. They also divide into theoretical games and those that involve some action. You can be so much closer to your partner, physically or mentally. Besides, you can get a good laugh from it, hearing their embarrassing sex stories. So, know we know which sex questions to ask a girl or a boy, how to prevent getting into trouble and break the ice of awkwardness. Talking about sex isn’t that hard. Soon you’ll adjust to it and do it on a daily basis, discussing it during breakfast and riding public transport. It’s essential and not shameful! The one thing you need is trust for your partner and total sincerity. Good luck!

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