Midlife Crisis in Men: How to Cope with It?

Most men aged about 40 years (+ - 5 years) have a certain difficult stage in life. A reassessment of values is often accompanied by a depressive state. It leads to divorce, health problems, and sometimes even suicide. This happens to men of any social status and financial situation. So, what should you know about it?

So, What Is a Midlife Crisis?

The midlife crisis in men is a difficult test, affecting not only a suffering person but also their family members, friends, colleagues. Moreover, the likelihood of developing a turning point doesn’t depend on the social or marital status and material well-being of a person. According to psychologists and doctors, a midlife crisis for a man is an inevitable step. At the same time, in adulthood, as a rule, it is experienced by a man very hard and can have extremely negative consequences.

What age is a midlife crisis for a man? Scientists can’t give a definite answer to this question. Each man is unique, has a different temperament and character. All men differ in their level of emotional stability and use various mechanisms of psychological defense. They have different needs, values, goals, desires, priorities. Therefore, age catastrophe can occur at 35 years for some guys. Other men will experience it after 40 years.

It is also impossible to say exactly how long the period lasts. Some men very quickly adapt to new physiological and psychological requirements, accept themselves in a different role and even manage to find single ladies online. Others suffer mental anguish for a long time, and to overcome the crisis, they need the help of experienced psychologists and often qualified psychotherapists.

What Is So Special About a Male Midlife Crisis?

What is a midlife crisis for a man? As you can understand, this is a state of deep psychological depression caused by dissatisfaction with the lived part of life, a rethinking of life values, and regret about the misuse of time, typical for middle-aged people. When a man experiences a midlife crisis, his behavior can become more cheeky, eccentric, even provocative. He ceases to listen to the opinions of people who were authorities for him, but at the same time, he becomes more susceptible to the opinions of strangers, random people. The man becomes overly sensitive to any criticism, tries to quickly “correct” any critical remarks, especially if they correspond to his own thoughts that are inherent in the midlife crisis, “You haven’t achieved anything,” “You are doing the wrong thing,” “You are living with a bad woman,” “You don’t strive for that,” “You don’t know how to boost libido,” etc.

Of course, in some cases, the consequences of a midlife crisis can play a positive role: this crisis becomes a good motivator and stimulator for changing lives for the better. But these are rather exceptions to the rules. Psychologists are sounding the alarm because a midlife crisis often leads, on the contrary, to negative consequences and can even completely destroy a man’s life, which seems to him “not like it should be.”

Signs of Midlife Crisis in Men

It is not as difficult as it seems to notice midlife crisis signs in men. One of the most common symptoms is a desire to break out of the usual way of life, turn upside down activities in all areas and change dramatically. Men often realize that the crisis has come when their actions begin to contradict the usual disposition of life. Other signs of a midlife crisis in male can be:

1. The desire to slow down youth

There comes a bitter understanding that the young years are almost gone, and a man loses beauty and activity with them – this can be a great midlife crisis definition. A rebel wakes up in the man. If you look at any teenager, then their main feature of behavior is a protest against restrictions, prohibitions, in spite of punishments. Youthful, unfulfilled goals and desires in the present result in rebellion, a protest against generally accepted rules and life habits. But if previously the parents limited the teenager, now his family does this. And again, there is a desire to break free.

2. Terrible diseases

A man often talks about his diseases – this is one of the signs of midlife crisis. Those minor ailments that didn’t bother him before suddenly turn into “health-threatening symptoms.” A strong man takes pills, goes to a clinic every week, and instead of football, he is now watching programs about health with interest. Such behavior is dictated to him by ordinary fear. Fear of the time when the approach of old age is felt. Indeed, a good half of life remained in the past. And what is ahead? There is a frightening weakness, decrepitude.

3. Unstable behavior

This is one of the most obvious symptoms of a midlife crisis. Sometimes, it seems that when a midlife crisis comes, the personality traits of an inexperienced young man awaken. Unreasonable fun is sharply replaced by despondency. The mood jumps a hundred times a day. You will never guess what to expect in the next moment. The man, not understanding what is happening to him, is trying to find himself in different areas. This is the time when mood instability depends on a conflict of desire for change and an incomprehensible final goal.

4. Blaming others

The crisis period is the reason for the global reassessment of priorities. Being at different stages of a midlife crisis, men put finances and careers into the background. Realizing that the past can’t be returned, the person begins to search for the guilty. First of all, close people, family, wife, children become those. Here you can draw a direct analogy with the transitional teenage period when a young man is overcome by a fear of responsibility for his life. The man, blaming others, hides the fear in front of a new, yet unfamiliar life stage.

5. Revision of motivation

The age of 35-40 years is the middle of a man’s life. Having reached this age, a man analyzes and compares his and others’ successes and achievements. Understanding that life is passing, it pushes him to sudden changes in behavior. This age is often perceived as the last attempt to do everything that he previously had neither time nor strength for. Hence, it is about the sudden change of interests, a change in the place of work and sphere of activity, a fascination with extreme sports.

6. Erectile dysfunction

A midlife crisis male can face the initial signs of fading sexual desire. In addition to natural causes, this is greatly facilitated by an incorrect lifestyle, hormonal changes, and the ecological situation. Fear of becoming impotent makes a man pay attention to new sources of sexual desire. He begins to cheat on his wife with young women. It often leads to divorce. According to statistics, most divorces at this age are due to the infidelity of the spouse.

7. Haste in action

Trying to prove to himself and others that there is still room for joys and pleasures in this life, a man no longer thinks about saving, forgets about children and wife, and buys expensive, sometimes completely unnecessary things. Moreover, he can buy an expensive car or get a tattoo on his back, giving all his salary for it. He seems to be in a hurry and is afraid to be late, which often leads to debts, loans, etc.

How to Cope with a Midlife Crisis

The midlife crisis for men is most often associated with a rethinking of social and professional successes: how successful was the career and did it bring the promised happiness? Those who invested their whole lives in their careers and never found happiness are especially prone to crisis. A midlife crisis doesn’t have to be painful. You can help yourself get through this period.

1. Analyze and accept your life as it is

A new page begins when we accept the past. To accept doesn’t mean to be delighted and continue to live in the same way. To accept is to acknowledge. Refuse self-accusations, painful self-digging, constant living in the past. Appreciate all the successes and mistakes that have been, and gratefully move on.

2. Lead an active lifestyle

Well, midlife crisis how to deal? Try to lead a healthy and active lifestyle, reduce the amount of alcohol and junk food, play sports. Learn to listen to your body, feel what it lacks. Any sports activities will be useful both in somatic and psychological cases. Firstly, the physiological state affects the emotional sphere, just like the psyche affects the somatic. In addition, regular morning exercises will be a good preventive measure for diseases. Secondly, it stimulates the release of norepinephrine and endorphin in the body (this explains satisfaction after a workout).

3. Define your values

Treat the midlife crisis as an opportunity to rethink your values. They can change from year to year, and this is normal. With midlife crisis age, the feeling of personal growth and determination decreases, but you gain the strength and should appreciate good relations with other people, navigate the environment, and show your skills. Think about what is really important for you personally, and how this can be implemented.

4. Be close with your family

A known fact in psychology: the family is the most reliable support. So why not use this resource? No wonder the age of 40 years is called “second youth.” For example, you can look at what your children are interested in, perhaps this “something” will inspire you so much that you will find a new hobby. In addition, sincere interest will help establish warm relationships between all family members. It will create a comfort zone, in which you can always plunge in moments of a bad mood.

5. Remember what you loved

What did you do when you were a 20-year-old guy? What kind of books did you like? What fascinated you? Get back to your youth. In addition, forgotten and even seemingly strange interests are powerful emotional support in accepting the fact that your past was interesting. What if you can radically change your rhythm of life with its help? Our hobbies are another factor in helping build a positive emotional attitude. In many forgotten hobbies, some sacred meaning is laid, which, when discovered again, help see your life in bright colors.

It is better to treat processes in the middle of life as a “correction,” and not as a “crisis.” Remember that everything is relative. For example, the peak efficiency of a football player is 25 years old, and for a musician, it is 50-60. You have passed some part of your path and become wiser and more experienced. If you feel that you are in crisis, let it be a gift – an opportunity to understand what is wrong. Give an assessment of the path traveled and change your life for the better.